2010 Chevrolet Camaro

Wake up Dodge Challenger, Ford Mustang, and Nissan 350Z, an old friend has slumbered long enough and is ready to come out and play – despite insufferable gas prices. Most of us got our first glimpses of the beast in the 2007 film Transformers, but little did we know what the legendary car was packing under its hood.

For starters, the 2010 Camaro will be available in three different models: the LS, LT, and SS. While the former two will entertain drivers with a 300-horsepower 3.6L V-6 engine, those lucky enough to sit behind the wheel of the SS will feel the true American muscle offered by the 422-horsepower 6.2L V-8, which, incidentally, will really move the 3,860 pounds. And while the 3.6L Camaro is projected to offer 26 mpg on the highway, the 6.2L SS will drop to 23 mpg – and that’s with the help of the Active Fuel Management technology that disengages four cylinders during light driving. All 2010 Camaro models will be offered with either manual or automatic 6-speed transmissions, Stabilitrak, rear-parking assist, OnStar, Bluetooth connectivity, and four-wheel disc brakes; however, only the 2010 Camaro SS will offer the four-piston Brembo calipers.

Gas prices be damned, any guy with a pair should want to drive one of these all-American classics with retro stylings that call upon the much-revered 1969 Camaro. With each passing year it’s getting harder and harder to find an original classic that’s worthy of an arduous restoration process; might as well start collecting the modern classics. And the 2010 Camaro is a choice place to start.

The MSRP on the 2010 Camaro has yet to be determined, but you can expect it to hit showroom floors in 2009's first quarter.

CD Review: Towers of London - Blood Sweat & Towers

Release date: June 5, 2006

Rating: 6/10

Now here’s a refreshing band that’s resurrecting a brand of punk rock that has lain dormant for decades. Sure, the British snarl is reminiscent of Johnny Rotten or even Joe Strummer, the guitar solos are rife with Slash influence, and the general song structures owe a considerable debt to the New York Dolls, but that does nothing to detract from the catchy hooks and the sing-along melodies produced by the Towers of London. This is neither the beginning nor the end of the comparisons to the punk-rock pioneers whom the Towers of London are so obviously and unabashedly indebted to; one look at the cover of Blood Sweat & Towers and you’ll instantly recognize The Clash, the New York Dolls, and The Ramones. Come to think of it, the Towers of London might be what Malcolm McLaren had in mind when he stole incomplete songs from the Dolls and gave them to the Sex Pistols.

So, if there is so little that is original about the Towers of London, what makes the band so special? That’s not so difficult a question to answer. These Londoners provide a fresh flavor in a musical cesspool that has increasingly been neglected and left to fester in its own excrement. Granted, this “fresh” sound is about 30 years old and it sounds like polished chrome, but it’s still a swift kick to the balls and a great diversion to rock’s top 40.

So, while Blood Sweat & Towers was released in 2006 and the “Beaujolais” track sounds an awful lot like “New Rose” by The Damned (in fact, it wouldn’t be a lie to say that the members of the Towers of London extracted their favorite parts of their favorite songs by their favorite bands and reassembled them for the album), it’s still a worthwhile purchase for any music fan interested in something “new.” Truth be told, Blood Sweat & Towers is about five songs too long; if the Towers of London had cut those five songs, they would have left us with a much more solid and aggressive punk rock treasure.

The Towers of London have been making noise in the UK since the release of Blood Sweat & Towers, opening for such acts as Guns n’ Roses and the New York Dolls, and I only hope that the schmuck Emo kids in the U.S. wake up and see what punk rock, or at least a modern incarnation of it, really is. And whether or not punk rock is in the bones and the hearts of the Towers of London, what they are most guilty of is trying too hard.

CD Review: Cyndi Lauper – Bring Ya To The Brink

Release date: May 27, 2008

Rating: 3/10

I keep telling myself to be kind with this review, but not even my boyhood crush on the ultra-cute Cyndi Lauper can salvage this dry heave of an album.

Cyndi Lauper’s Bring Ya To The Brink is basically a Eurotrash dance/pop album that begs to be remixed for the club sprinkled with a couple token tracks to give her long-time fans something to appreciate. So, if you’re a club kid with the attention span of a dog, you’ll probably like Bring Ya To The Brink as much as you liked last week’s favorite. And if you’re an old-school Cyndi Lauper fan, you’ll likely be disappointed by the return to her Sisters of Avalon era.

Cyndi Lauper has always been one to explore her musical artistry, and her 2003 effort At Last seemed appropriate for her aging career, but it seems that the girl who just wants to have fun isn’t ready to go quietly into the night. The first track to be released off of Bring Ya To The Brink is “Into the Nightlife,” a club track rife with deep bass and heavy synth. Up next will be “Same Ol’ Story,” which features a high hat-driven ‘90s beat and Cyndi Lauper belting out “same ol’ fuckin’ story” throughout the chorus.

The best tracks on Bring Ya To The Brink are by far those that pay homage to Cyndi Lauper’s ‘80s pop sensibilities. These tracks include “Grab a hold” and “Rain on me.” If you’re smart enough to grab the Japanese edition of the album, you’ll also be treated to a Jane Siberry meets “True Colors” track called “Can’t Breathe.”

The Offspring – Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace

Release date: June 17, 2008

The members of The Offspring might look like they’ve seen better days, but come June 2008, they’ll be back with a new album – the group’s first since 2003’s Splinter. Judging from the few tracks available on the Internet, Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace sounds like an offering of standard The Offspring fare. Dexter Holland and Noodles aren’t reinventing the wheel here (they’ve long since established a formula for creating catchy three-chord riffs and breakdown bridges that are at once dire and hopeful), but they’ve created a power-punch wall of sound, which isn’t surprising after two years of writing and recording and enlisting the aid of famed hard rock producer Bob Rock.

If the tracks available online (“Hammerhead” is free for download at The Offspring’s website and live versions of “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” and "Half-Truism" are on YouTube) are any indication of Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace’s tone, The Offspring haters will continue to hate while The Offspring fans will continue to mosh, albeit with a few more visits to the ER.

Though it is very obvious that The Offspring aren’t the hungry little spermatozoon that they were in the ‘90s, it’s about time that they showed up to the party to keep shit-disturbing poseurs like Fall Out Boy in line.

Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace – Track List:
"Half-Truism"
"Trust in You"
"You're Gonna Go Far, Kid"
"Hammerhead"
"A Lot Like Me"
"Takes Me Nowhere"
"Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?"
"Nothingtown"
"Stuff Is Messed Up"
"Fix You"
"Let's Hear It for Rock Bottom"
"Rise and Fall"
"O.C. Life" (Japanese Bonus Track)

Night of the Living Dead – 40th Anniversary Edition

Release date: May 20, 2008

Can you believe that it has already been 40 years since the release of the original flesh-eating zombie nightmare, aka Night of the Living Dead (1968)? Though I missed out on the original release of the iconic film, I continue to live through its aftermath and the undying legacy.

We all know that George A. Romero is the master of zombie horror, but does what scared society back in the ‘60s still scare us? Slow-moving masses with a singular thought (brains), an overbearing and ignorant patriarch, and a black hero… sure, these things still scare us. I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to slow versus fast zombies, but I do see the inherent problem with zombies that move slower than pond water – there’s no way that you couldn’t weave through them like a bumble bee weaves through flowers in a summer field. Well, you wouldn’t have a problem until the masses density blocked your way like pubes block a shower drain.

The 40th anniversary edition of the Night of the Living Dead features a restored and remastered film, a feature-length documentary, commentary, the theatrical trailer, and a Q&A session with the master himself, George A. Romero. All that is worth the $20 alone, but you still get what you came for, the classic Night of the Living Dead film that will scare the crap out of you while giving you comfort and protection in Duane Jones.

CD Review: Teenage Bottlerocket - Warning Device

Honestly, a friend introduced me to Teenage Bottlerocket, which disappoints me because I can’t even claim discovery; any music fan knows that laying claim to band discovery is not far removed from the thrill of getting your driver’s license or kissing the hottest girl in school when you know she shouldn’t be kissing you.

Warning Device (2008) marks Teenage Bottlerocket’s third release, following Total (2005) and Another Way (2003). Seems like the band likes to release albums too few and far between—lazy ass punk kids. What Teenage Bottlerocket and Red Scare records has in Warning Device, however, is a pop-punk record that’s rife with teenage angst, love’s promise, and senseless fun. You’ve heard all that crap applied to other similar albums and bands, so I’m going to tell you the truth: because Warning Device is a kick-ass album, it’ll cause you to involuntarily tap you toes, sing along, and make you believe that you can actually play drums (or want to buy a snare, high-hat, and a kick drum). If you’re not careful you’ll end up twitching like a kid with Tourette’s.

Pop-punk is more about venting, moving, and having fun than it is about complex chord progressions, incendiary solos, or lyrics with highbrow sensibilities or philanthropic messages. That’s why it bothers me when I read criticism that Warning Device sounds a tad too similar to Teenage Bottlerocket’s influences, namely the Ramones (though you could also count the Mr. T Experience, The Dickies, Screeching Weasel, and the Groovie Ghoulies among them). It’s true, however, that when “Gave You My Heart” starts off I can’t stop waiting for the Ramones’ “Pinhead” to kick in.

Still, if we’re going to expect Teenage Bottlerocket to write completely original songs, then we should expect the same from do-no-wrong, established pop-punkers Green Day. To get a better sense of what I mean, take another listen to “Jesus of Suburbia” and “Give Me Novacaine” from American Idiot (2004) and then take a another listen to “On With The Show” by Motley Crue and “Bullet the Blue Sky” by U2.

With dual vocals provided by Ray Carlisle and Kody Templeman, there are a number of killer tracks on Teenage Bottlerocket’s Warning Device; keep an ear to the ground for “Bottlerocket,” “In the Basement,” “She’s Not the One,” “Crawling Back To You,” and “Pacemaker.”

Salon des vins et spiritueux de Montreal

How do you sum up utter surprise and total enjoyment? I think that wow! will suffice.

What am I so excited about? Well, on Friday, March 28, 2008, my office, which belongs to a prominent Internet men’s lifestyle magazine, sent me and a few colleagues to the Salon des vins et spiritueux de Montreal, Quebec, Canada. This was essentially a wine show, not unlike a trade show with tons of free alcohol for those fortunate enough to have press passes – like us.

The only condition for the pleasure of going to the wine show was to accept an assignment, which entailed writing a brief review on a wine varietal of our Editor-in-Chief’s choosing. I have to say that I was somewhat discouraged upon receiving my task since I had never (I may be showing my ignorance here) heard of Gewürztraminer. After doing a bit of digging, I found that it’s largely produced in Alsace. This suited me fine since I’m a big fan of Riesling. Gasp! You can’t compare Riesling to Gewürztraminer. Well, I just did. And while I’ll agree with any enophile that the two wines are very different, you can’t deny the fact that if someone likes Riesling, they’ll likely enjoy a glass of Gewürztraminer.

Though I had just been acquainted with Gewürztraminer, I found that I had a preference for those that came from Alsace. Germany also makes a good one, and the grape is grown in other parts of the world as well, such as Canada, the U.S., Australia, and Israel. From what I can tell, and from the information that was given to me, the Gewürztraminer from Alsace is sweet and when the wine comes from Germany it is a little dryer. In general, however, Gewürz is a medium-dry wine that typically presents a bouquet of lychees, roses, passion fruit, and floral notes. It’s also perfect for fatty seafood.

A couple of my favorite labels were: Pfaffenheim Steingold, 2006; Ruhlmann Grand Cru Frankstein, 2003; and Riefle, Bonheur Exceptionnel, 2006.

So, what else did I come away with after attending the wine show? I now know what tannins are, I learned that something as simple as the soil (when all other conditions are identical) can completely change the taste of a wine, producers sometimes try to cover a bad wine with lots of oak flavors, barrels can cost about $1,000 and they’re usually good for a single use, and wine shows are a lot of fun.

Some other wines that I had the opportunity to try include:

• Francis Ford Coppola Zinfandel, 2005
• Francis Ford Coppola Merlot
• Leon Beyer Gewürztraminer, 2003
• Pfaffenheim Riesling Steinert, 2004
• Ruhlmann Riesling Vieille Vigne – Coteau du Blettig, 2003
• Ruhlmann Riesling Grand Cru Frankstein, 2003
• Mulderbosch Sauvignon Blanc, 2005