CD Review: Cyndi Lauper – Bring Ya To The Brink

Release date: May 27, 2008

Rating: 3/10

I keep telling myself to be kind with this review, but not even my boyhood crush on the ultra-cute Cyndi Lauper can salvage this dry heave of an album.

Cyndi Lauper’s Bring Ya To The Brink is basically a Eurotrash dance/pop album that begs to be remixed for the club sprinkled with a couple token tracks to give her long-time fans something to appreciate. So, if you’re a club kid with the attention span of a dog, you’ll probably like Bring Ya To The Brink as much as you liked last week’s favorite. And if you’re an old-school Cyndi Lauper fan, you’ll likely be disappointed by the return to her Sisters of Avalon era.

Cyndi Lauper has always been one to explore her musical artistry, and her 2003 effort At Last seemed appropriate for her aging career, but it seems that the girl who just wants to have fun isn’t ready to go quietly into the night. The first track to be released off of Bring Ya To The Brink is “Into the Nightlife,” a club track rife with deep bass and heavy synth. Up next will be “Same Ol’ Story,” which features a high hat-driven ‘90s beat and Cyndi Lauper belting out “same ol’ fuckin’ story” throughout the chorus.

The best tracks on Bring Ya To The Brink are by far those that pay homage to Cyndi Lauper’s ‘80s pop sensibilities. These tracks include “Grab a hold” and “Rain on me.” If you’re smart enough to grab the Japanese edition of the album, you’ll also be treated to a Jane Siberry meets “True Colors” track called “Can’t Breathe.”

The Offspring – Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace

Release date: June 17, 2008

The members of The Offspring might look like they’ve seen better days, but come June 2008, they’ll be back with a new album – the group’s first since 2003’s Splinter. Judging from the few tracks available on the Internet, Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace sounds like an offering of standard The Offspring fare. Dexter Holland and Noodles aren’t reinventing the wheel here (they’ve long since established a formula for creating catchy three-chord riffs and breakdown bridges that are at once dire and hopeful), but they’ve created a power-punch wall of sound, which isn’t surprising after two years of writing and recording and enlisting the aid of famed hard rock producer Bob Rock.

If the tracks available online (“Hammerhead” is free for download at The Offspring’s website and live versions of “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” and "Half-Truism" are on YouTube) are any indication of Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace’s tone, The Offspring haters will continue to hate while The Offspring fans will continue to mosh, albeit with a few more visits to the ER.

Though it is very obvious that The Offspring aren’t the hungry little spermatozoon that they were in the ‘90s, it’s about time that they showed up to the party to keep shit-disturbing poseurs like Fall Out Boy in line.

Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace – Track List:
"Half-Truism"
"Trust in You"
"You're Gonna Go Far, Kid"
"Hammerhead"
"A Lot Like Me"
"Takes Me Nowhere"
"Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?"
"Nothingtown"
"Stuff Is Messed Up"
"Fix You"
"Let's Hear It for Rock Bottom"
"Rise and Fall"
"O.C. Life" (Japanese Bonus Track)

Night of the Living Dead – 40th Anniversary Edition

Release date: May 20, 2008

Can you believe that it has already been 40 years since the release of the original flesh-eating zombie nightmare, aka Night of the Living Dead (1968)? Though I missed out on the original release of the iconic film, I continue to live through its aftermath and the undying legacy.

We all know that George A. Romero is the master of zombie horror, but does what scared society back in the ‘60s still scare us? Slow-moving masses with a singular thought (brains), an overbearing and ignorant patriarch, and a black hero… sure, these things still scare us. I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to slow versus fast zombies, but I do see the inherent problem with zombies that move slower than pond water – there’s no way that you couldn’t weave through them like a bumble bee weaves through flowers in a summer field. Well, you wouldn’t have a problem until the masses density blocked your way like pubes block a shower drain.

The 40th anniversary edition of the Night of the Living Dead features a restored and remastered film, a feature-length documentary, commentary, the theatrical trailer, and a Q&A session with the master himself, George A. Romero. All that is worth the $20 alone, but you still get what you came for, the classic Night of the Living Dead film that will scare the crap out of you while giving you comfort and protection in Duane Jones.

CD Review: Teenage Bottlerocket - Warning Device

Honestly, a friend introduced me to Teenage Bottlerocket, which disappoints me because I can’t even claim discovery; any music fan knows that laying claim to band discovery is not far removed from the thrill of getting your driver’s license or kissing the hottest girl in school when you know she shouldn’t be kissing you.

Warning Device (2008) marks Teenage Bottlerocket’s third release, following Total (2005) and Another Way (2003). Seems like the band likes to release albums too few and far between—lazy ass punk kids. What Teenage Bottlerocket and Red Scare records has in Warning Device, however, is a pop-punk record that’s rife with teenage angst, love’s promise, and senseless fun. You’ve heard all that crap applied to other similar albums and bands, so I’m going to tell you the truth: because Warning Device is a kick-ass album, it’ll cause you to involuntarily tap you toes, sing along, and make you believe that you can actually play drums (or want to buy a snare, high-hat, and a kick drum). If you’re not careful you’ll end up twitching like a kid with Tourette’s.

Pop-punk is more about venting, moving, and having fun than it is about complex chord progressions, incendiary solos, or lyrics with highbrow sensibilities or philanthropic messages. That’s why it bothers me when I read criticism that Warning Device sounds a tad too similar to Teenage Bottlerocket’s influences, namely the Ramones (though you could also count the Mr. T Experience, The Dickies, Screeching Weasel, and the Groovie Ghoulies among them). It’s true, however, that when “Gave You My Heart” starts off I can’t stop waiting for the Ramones’ “Pinhead” to kick in.

Still, if we’re going to expect Teenage Bottlerocket to write completely original songs, then we should expect the same from do-no-wrong, established pop-punkers Green Day. To get a better sense of what I mean, take another listen to “Jesus of Suburbia” and “Give Me Novacaine” from American Idiot (2004) and then take a another listen to “On With The Show” by Motley Crue and “Bullet the Blue Sky” by U2.

With dual vocals provided by Ray Carlisle and Kody Templeman, there are a number of killer tracks on Teenage Bottlerocket’s Warning Device; keep an ear to the ground for “Bottlerocket,” “In the Basement,” “She’s Not the One,” “Crawling Back To You,” and “Pacemaker.”

Salon des vins et spiritueux de Montreal

How do you sum up utter surprise and total enjoyment? I think that wow! will suffice.

What am I so excited about? Well, on Friday, March 28, 2008, my office, which belongs to a prominent Internet men’s lifestyle magazine, sent me and a few colleagues to the Salon des vins et spiritueux de Montreal, Quebec, Canada. This was essentially a wine show, not unlike a trade show with tons of free alcohol for those fortunate enough to have press passes – like us.

The only condition for the pleasure of going to the wine show was to accept an assignment, which entailed writing a brief review on a wine varietal of our Editor-in-Chief’s choosing. I have to say that I was somewhat discouraged upon receiving my task since I had never (I may be showing my ignorance here) heard of Gewürztraminer. After doing a bit of digging, I found that it’s largely produced in Alsace. This suited me fine since I’m a big fan of Riesling. Gasp! You can’t compare Riesling to Gewürztraminer. Well, I just did. And while I’ll agree with any enophile that the two wines are very different, you can’t deny the fact that if someone likes Riesling, they’ll likely enjoy a glass of Gewürztraminer.

Though I had just been acquainted with Gewürztraminer, I found that I had a preference for those that came from Alsace. Germany also makes a good one, and the grape is grown in other parts of the world as well, such as Canada, the U.S., Australia, and Israel. From what I can tell, and from the information that was given to me, the Gewürztraminer from Alsace is sweet and when the wine comes from Germany it is a little dryer. In general, however, Gewürz is a medium-dry wine that typically presents a bouquet of lychees, roses, passion fruit, and floral notes. It’s also perfect for fatty seafood.

A couple of my favorite labels were: Pfaffenheim Steingold, 2006; Ruhlmann Grand Cru Frankstein, 2003; and Riefle, Bonheur Exceptionnel, 2006.

So, what else did I come away with after attending the wine show? I now know what tannins are, I learned that something as simple as the soil (when all other conditions are identical) can completely change the taste of a wine, producers sometimes try to cover a bad wine with lots of oak flavors, barrels can cost about $1,000 and they’re usually good for a single use, and wine shows are a lot of fun.

Some other wines that I had the opportunity to try include:

• Francis Ford Coppola Zinfandel, 2005
• Francis Ford Coppola Merlot
• Leon Beyer Gewürztraminer, 2003
• Pfaffenheim Riesling Steinert, 2004
• Ruhlmann Riesling Vieille Vigne – Coteau du Blettig, 2003
• Ruhlmann Riesling Grand Cru Frankstein, 2003
• Mulderbosch Sauvignon Blanc, 2005

Ace Frehley: Rocket Ride Tour (Montreal Metropolis)

I would have and should have posted about this sooner, but it has been a bit of a whirlwind of misadventure that hasn't provided much time for this blog since it happened, which it shouldn't have in the first place. That is, instead of being on a plane to visit my family in Wisconsin, I spent the night (March 3, 2008) at Montreal’s Metropolis watching former KISS guitarist Ace Frehley rock the house on his Rocket Ride Tour.

Now, don’t think of me as uncouth, my flight was canceled and postponed until the next day; I had nothing to with it and absolutely no ulterior motives. And although visiting my grandmother and 23-year-old cousin, both of whom were diagnosed with cancer in the same week, was very important to me, I'm glad for my third chance to see Ace Frehley play (my first time seeing him without KISS).

On with the show!

Ace Frehley rocked and exceeded my expectations in the process. His playing was tight, his vocals (though he didn’t sing every number) were spot-on, and he doesn’t appear as acned or as bloated and droopy as he does in photos (especially photos of him in his KISS uniform), which might have something to do with his being 17 months clean and sober at the time of the show. He still sounds like a drugged-out hippie when he attempts to entertain the audience between songs, which probably has something to do with 40 years of not being clean and sober.

Ace Frehley’s backing band – comprised of Anthony Esposito (bass), Derrek Hawkins (rhythm guitar), and Scot Coogan (drums) – played like a machine, and it looked like one too. Esposito and Hawkins were decked out in identical overalls, which says to me that they are replaceable, expendable and ruled by a one-man KISS Army. Coogan was fortunate enough to go shirtless under the stage lights, but he surely falls into the same category. The point is that they performed as a tight unit, but I felt like I was watching a second-rate KISS cover band whenever anyone else but Ace Frehley took over duties on the mic.



We all know that Ace Frehley is far from being a guitar virtuoso, no matter how much you like and admire him. What he could do exceptionally well, however, was write wicked licks that were so simple that he made everyone else look like idiots for not having written them earlier. He also could put on a show, either with a custom guitar with flashing lights built into it or with pyro that set his Les Paul on fire. Though I was surprised to see Ace carry this relic from his KISS years to his solo show, I was pleased tee ito s nevertheless.



The venue was hardly at capacity and the demographic of the crowd was definitely diverse, but all who were there were undoubtedly KISS fans. Though there were kids there who were barely in their teens and hot, slutty rocker chicks, three were also the old folks who were present for KISS’ first coming. I might be showing my age, though I’m in none of the previously mentioned age groups, but I had an epiphany while at the show when I saw a man standing at the back of the crowd during Ace Frehley’s encore – the dude was rocking out playing air guitar on his cane! I guess it’s time for me to start looking to attend concerts held at the county fair.

So, what were the songs that Ace Frehley played on this extremely loud set list? If you must know, he rocked the shit out each and every one of the following:

Rip It Out
Hard Times
Parasite
Snowblind-I Want You
Rock Soldiers
Breakout
Into The Void
Strange Ways
Shock Me
NY Groove
Shot Full Of Rock
Rocket Ride
Love Gun
Deuce
Cold Gin

CD Review/Artist Review: The Pierces - thirteen tales of love and revenge

I’ll admit it, I judged The Pierces by their looks when I first saw them. I thought that they would be a CW brand of underground/indie rock: over-produced, polished, thick like molasses, and plastic. In short, I thought that The Pierces, comprised of sisters Catherine and Allison, would sound like Paris Hilton’s “Stars Are Blind.” I couldn’t have been more wrong.

When I fired up my YouTube to give The Pierces a listen, the first song I fell on was “Boring,” a smart and sarcastic look at the life of a socialite. As they name the finer things in life and complain about how “life is such a chore” with Chris Isaak undertones, Madonna (circa early ‘90s) shadows and a Sean Connery-era James Bond vibe, The Pierces succeed at drawing the listener in with sexual languidness and an almost disturbing sister-on-sister contact.

The folk-rock duo released their third album, thirteen tales of love and revenge, on March 20, 2007, which at once infuses the macabre, eerie sound of The Doors with what you’d expect to hear in the carnival tent of a traveling gypsy circus. Other key tracks include the melancholy “Three Wishes,” the playful and sinister “Secret,” and the man-destroying “Lights On.”

What makes The Pierces so appealing? Resounding harmonies, lyrics with substance, a unique sound that doesn’t descend into self-absorption, and photogenic sisters (can’t lie, that’s a part of it).